Today's blog is a difficult one to write. Last week, as many of you know, my boys, Matt and Josh, unexpectedly lost their Dad.
This turn of events necessitated a fast trip to New Orleans to be with Matt. He had the difficult task of identifying his father for the funeral home. Now, Mark was at his home with his wonderful companion Maddy when he passed, but for whatever reason, the funeral director needed the next of kin to give the final answer.
As parents, we try to keep our children safe, sound and happy. I have found that being there for the nearly impossible stuff is a workout for the heartstrings. I would lay down my life for my children. (All of them!!) Over the years we have seen them through the good, the bad and the ugly. This was, without doubt, the most difficult task I have ever faced.
When my own parents died, it was hard. When my parents died, part of my brain reminded me that they had lived long and fruitful lives. That somehow lessened the sting. When Rick's sister Chris died from leukemia, the sting was back. A bit stronger because it was a life cut short. Expected, but not without pain.
However, a sudden death is the hardest. There is no way to prepare yourself for the inevitable. It's a sucker punch right to your gut. Suddenly you're filled with "shoulda, coulda, woulda's" and your world is thrown into a tailspin.
To hear folks try to comfort by saying "They're in a better place" is almost unbearable, however right it may be.
An important part of the grieving process is railing against the unfairness. We have been doing that since we received the news.
But with this, we also begin to remember. Maybe it's a moment, a word or an action. For that moment, we are reminded that while we may never physically see that person again, they're truly a part of us. Our memories and feelings keep them alive within our hearts and minds. We can now talk to them and in our heads hear their answers loud and clear. In time, we may even smile again, when we "hear" those replies.
The photo today is of two special guardian angels that my boys have. On the left of Matt is his Dad. On the right, his Grandma Jean, who passed away last fall.
Godspeed, fair winds and following seas Mark.........
